Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My pussy is not your playground.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
