Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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