he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
BRING THE BAGELS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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