Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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