broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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