Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
