the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize