I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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