I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
