in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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