god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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