Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
