And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize