Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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