he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
