i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
