Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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