I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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