I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
