if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
