May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
even my farts smell like vagina
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
