..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
