If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
