the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
