what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
