Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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