***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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