There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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