I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have already put on my inside pants.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
