I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize