just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
