it was like fucking gandolphs beard
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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