Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
