Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you made out with another girl for some wings
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
