I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
