Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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