Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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