i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
