No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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