And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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