Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
