i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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