are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
