After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish I only lived at night.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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