he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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