3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
