the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
