i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
