I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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