Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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