She just used a chaser for red wine.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
