We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
