ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
