I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
