Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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