He is an equal opportunity slut.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
