Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
