I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
