Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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