he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
